Me-(AKA The Mommy)

First let me start by saying that I love being a mom. It's 100% a full time job. It's even more than a full time job, it's 24/7. You never get a break or time off from your child. It's tiring and frustrating and everyday you learn something new. You not only learn about how to take care of a growing human being but you also learn more about yourself and you realise that you're still growing too. Sometimes it's scary to realise that you're responsible for this little human being and not just for a day or two but forever. Breastfeeding is one of the best things that you can do for your child. I'm scared to think that I might be too impatient for breastfeeding. Women know that breastfeeding is way better for a baby than formula and gives your baby a healthy start in life. You feel guilty when you decide to give him formula because it's faster and easier. Isn't that the world that we grew up in? Fast and easy, you don't have to wait: you can have whatever you want when you want. It's hard to change that mentality when you become a mom nothing is quick and easy.

That's the number one thing that I have learned through this whole experience. 10 months ago I found out I was pregnant with Jack. I felt like I had been carrying him my whole life. 9 months felt like forever. I couldn't wait for him to be out of my belly and I could have my body back. I couldn't wait to be able to sleep on my stomach and eat whatever I wanted. Finally the 9 months went by and then it was time for him to come out. I waited...and waited for him to come out. Wednesday morning I woke up with Braxton Hicks (contractions). All day I was in pain. The pain got worse and worse and we finally went to the hospital. Jack wasn't born until Thursday morning. When you're in pain for 24 hours it feel like eternity. It's all on his time though, not mine. That's what I'm learning. I can't control when he wakes, sleeps or is hungry. I just have to learn to put aside my needs for his.

It's an amazing lesson. My whole life has slowed way down. Although I'm still busy, it's a different kind of busy. The most strange thing is not leaving the house. The first few weeks they suggest that you don't take him outside around people. His system isn't strong enough yet and he could get sick. I would hate for him to get sick. I hate to see him in pain or discomfort. His little face scrunches up and he let's out the saddest cries ever. I've never had so much responsibility placed on me. Sometimes I want to quit (especially at 3 in the morning when he won't go back to sleep because he's still hungry even though he just ate for the past 2 hours). Other times I feel like super mom, cooking dinner, baking bread, doing laundry for my husband and I and Jack, feeding Jack, changing his poopy diaper, cleaning etc...Anyway, from the moment I held Jack in my arms I knew my whole life was going to change. I gladly except my new role as mother and I look forward to the future. I'm excited to be apart of Jacks life...